What else can I say about today besides....I'm so done with this crappy day run.
With that out in the open for all of you to see, read, soak, point, laugh, mock, agree and so forth with.....today my head ache continued as it has been lingering in my skull for now a grand total of three days and if it goes onto a fourth I will officially find some one to hit upside the head and give an even worse headache too. Because if any of you (my fellow readers) are stay at home parents of any sort, you well know that there is NO, no NOT ONE sick day in this job. So if my tantrum throwing toddler starts to screech because I wont give her my cell pone to abuse any longer...you got it the head ache gets worse and I got to grit and bare it. And that is exactly what I did. I gritted with all my mite and bared it with such gusto I can hardly see the keyboard in which I'm writing this to you and my neck feels like I just went and got acupuncture and the woman forgot to take out the damn needles. So, for you who live near me, you have been warned. If I randomly come up to you tomorrow and hit you upside the head...you know why.
I was fortunate to keep my (already horrible) eye site for the two hours so that I was able to actually watch the Golden Globes tonight! There was many faces I was happy to see, and well many movies as well. At the VERY beginning of the showing, I thought to myself "Hey, why don't you make a list of the movies you wanted to see over the past year but just didn't have the time, money or both to go and see it." Well folks, I did. And in doing so I filled an entire sheet of paper. I don't think I've ever felts so....out of the loop. Out of the loop of life.
A small history on my past for you to divulge in:
As a teen, yes I mite have been TOO obsessed about Orlando Bloom, but besides that point. I was "in the loop." I'd read the tabloids without buying into the false hood stories some people dream about and then publish as if that was "true writing" but I would know who was who and what movies/tv shows they were in. I would never be able to see ALL the films that would be nominated come award season, but at lest I would know who was who and who was where. Maybe it was a shallow life but it was a life none the less.
Back to present time:
Now as an adult, whose a wife, a mother, a daughter, an aspiring writer and at times a house maid of my own house.....that is my life. In a way it is the same. I am way too obsessed about my husband, which in all reality is a good thing I'm sure. I'm in the loop about what the latest fashions are for toddlers and all the new gadgets that are coming out. I read parenting magazines and when Imagination Movers or Mickey Mouse Clubhouse comes on I am well in the know of who is who and who is where. And yet; as fulfilling as it truly is; and trust me...best part of my life to date, I feel so out of it. I pay bills, I work super hard writing (and having to deal with the rejection) making me know that I can't even help pay for one of the bills, I clean, I cook and try really hard to be more of a gourmet chief then I probably should be allowed to even attempt. But all of that equals...I don't get my hair done by anyone other then myself, my nails are always chewed, gnawed and bitten to the death, most of my clothes are 2nd hand or clearance and I don't have fabulous make up on when I go to wall mart to pick up a half gallon of milk because I misjudged how much my daughter would guzzle that week. I am in the loop of everyday life and out of the loop of living life.
We so stupidly now a days live our lives day to day. Paycheck to paycheck. Meal to meal. Dollar to dollar. And in the end we are out. Out of the loop of living our lives, our of the loops that make our own little world. While watching the Golden Globes there was a commercial for Chrysler and it was going off asking what happened to class, to taken a drive, to feeling like a million bucks because going out and putting your best foot forward is what made life not only livable but agreeable. And well, even though I am not a fan of commercials I couldn't help but agreeing. When was the last time I myself just took a drive....I can't even tell you. I am more concerned about how the price of gas is effecting my ability to just get my everyday errands complete. When I get in my car I don't drive...I got from point A to point B and that is it. I don't get gleamed up to go to the grocery store, and why should I when there is 12 to 50 year olds running around in sweats and Uggs? This is our America. The one we stand so proud to protect and yet we have no joy in living in it. We live our lives, mapped out in front of us, point A, B, C and so forth. We bitch and complain about not being able to pay the bills because in all reality we can't. And yet somehow when people couldn't pay their bills in the 1950's and 60's they still had a manor of...pride for them selves and you never knew about their stress of bills.
Maybe it's the headache and Tylenol with tons of coffee in my causing such a thought...but think about it then your self with your clear and un hurting skull. When was the last time you took a stroll in your car, just went and got a single scoop cone with no toppings and double flavors, took a picture of a daisy, and put your best foot forward to go grocery shopping? Why do we need balls and award shows to be glamorous, to feel special and beautiful? Why do we need so much money to get the smallest things done? One word can sum it up for you.
America.
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