As my toddler screams.

Good evening. Wow, well for starters I'm gonna tell you how wonderful it feels to sit down.  Like just sit down!  Here is my day (for those who can agree, for you to understand my sheer relief to sit, and just to inform you, wither you care or not.)

• Washed Chewy
• Washed my daughter
• Vacuumed down AND upstairs
• Washed bedding
• Did 3 loads of laundry
• Dishes, washed and put away
• Cooked breakfast, lunch, dinner & snacks
• Took Chewy and my daughter on a walk again
• Answered the phone
• Cleaned the bathroom
• Organized all the stuff my daughter has out grown
• Started to pack (we move next weekend)
• Picked up toys several times
• Let Chewy do his business (several times)
• Took a shower myself

And somewhere in between all that I even got to paint my toe nails and actually shave my whole leg, not just the part my skirts show! SHOCKER.  Now, I know there are moms/dad/guardians who do ten times this amount of stuff, and in all reality this is a usual day for me.  But in the winter I get so drab, like I'm moving in slow motion...and laundry will stack up, vacuuming upstairs never happens because lugging the vacuum up 16 steps is far too close to a work out for me and all I want to do is sleep!  But this week, even though it's January, our town has now been blessed with two days (yes count um...One, Two) that gave a us a little hint that spring is just around the corner...that winter is started to deplete and for someone who's favorite seasons are Summer and Fall and NO WHERE near liking winter the least bit, this is a glorious sign.
I'm, weary for how busy this summer actually is going to be (I'm planning on making a list of all I want to do, not need to do, so all of the things that make a summer a summer won't get left out.)

Yesterday I finished The Book Thief and it was a pretty good read.  Being German it was fun to have the few German words and sentences thrown in there!  And before I called it a night, I started reading Undressing the Moon by T. Greenwood.  I only got 20ish pages in because then the hubby got home from work, and with it being midnight, sleep was needed.  I'll continue tonight and keep you posted.

My writing as far as Dear Molly goes....is standing still, not collecting dust though.  I keep looking at it, and wondering how and what I want to do with it.  I have only sent in one e-mail submission and it was obviously denied.  Which in all reality is not even trying to get it published...but I keep looking at it....knowing it needs more work then just editing....I just don't know what exactly.  But The Diversion is ripe and juicy in my mind.  I keep coming up with ideas for it and seriously, I cannot wait for some time this weekend to just sit down and work on it!  So as soon as I do, I'll let you know.  I'm also planning on working on a few more articles.  Getting a few articles published for magazines seems to easiest and quickest way to not only make a few extra dollars but to get my name published, which seems to be what every publishing house is looking for.  They want to know that their not sticking their neck out too far for you.  Which seems kind of rude in all seriousness since your sticking your neck smack dab under the Guillotine of theirs.  But hey, I guess it's not so much a game as it is a wallet and how much there is to gain (if not loose) so I can understand and that's why I'm focusing more on those articles for now.

Well, when I started this entry I had just put my daughter down for bed and she was not happy for me.  So along side the dogs snores and the dryer her toddler tantrum throwing screams were my background, writing music.  But now she is silent and well, snoring herself...so it's time for me to get a few last things done and then it's up to bed to read and call it a night for myself as well.

One Cup of Tea.

I will inform you that even though my headache continued yesterday, I did not whack anyone upside the head. In fact it got so bad that any thought of working on my writing was disregarded as any screen killed my eyes!  So instead I spent the day trying to enjoy the first sunny, some what decent warm day of the year.  I was hoping fresh air would help my headache, so I took Chewy and my daughter out for a short stroll on the pathway right behind our home.  I'm sure it was only a 30 min. walk but my daughter was completely energized and Chewy was completely worn out and slept it off in his favorite chair......while I tried to think of other ways to discard my headache.

After the walk I tried doing the everyday chores, of cleaning, dishes, laundry ect.  And then also working on putting a stack of recipes I've made or collected from magazines.  Putting them into my own personal cookbook.  I enjoy to cook and bake....but instead of putting the recipes in there bound home, I got stuck watching episodes of The Next Great Baker on TLC and got quite excited when I saw that Buddy and his family were going to have a cooking show.  I can't help it, food makes me happy.  It's a wonder I don't gain more weight then I do with how much I eat and taste.

So now, with a lack of caffeine and a cup of tea in my hand, I think today I'm gonna achieve three things:

1. Take an hour nap while my daughter naps
2. Work on The Diversion
3. Finish reading The Book Thief

So to finish off this mornings blog; here's a small insert from The Diversion, enjoy.


"....

I don’t want to look through the duffel bag right now, I’m anxious and antsy.  I want to do something, help my father fight.  I can’t stay cooped up here for days, weeks, oh god months!  I’ve just decided I will leave this bunker and help my father when I hear a single pop.  A single gunshot that gives me a horror stricken feeling.  I may be underground but that shot was too close for comfort.  There’s tears free falling from my eyes now and my heart is pounding so hard I feel like it will stop working it hurts so bad.  But I now have a mission, I quickly learn the hatch door has no latch on my side but I manage to pry it open and when I’m done my fingers are bloody.  I leave the duffel bag behind and dash to through the hallway, on my way to the front door I see my fellow drunkards slain and lying in mixed pools of blood.  I push open the front door to escape the smell of bodies and there standing is two rebel men standing over a single pool of blood that leads to my motionless father’s body."

Pastime Class, 68th Golden Globes, and a Headache.

What else can I say about today besides....I'm so done with this crappy day run. 

With that out in the open for all of you to see, read, soak, point, laugh, mock, agree and so forth with.....today my head ache continued as it has been lingering in my skull for now a grand total of three days and if it goes onto a fourth I will officially find some one to hit upside the head and give an even worse headache too.  Because if any of you (my fellow readers) are stay at home parents of any sort, you well know that there is NO, no NOT ONE sick day in this job.  So if my tantrum throwing toddler starts to screech because I wont give her my cell pone to abuse any longer...you got it the head ache gets worse and I got to grit and bare it. And that is exactly what I did.  I gritted with all my mite and bared it with such gusto I can hardly see the keyboard in which I'm writing this to you and my neck feels like I just went and got acupuncture and the woman forgot to take out the damn needles.  So, for you who live near me, you have been warned.  If I randomly come up to you tomorrow and hit you upside the head...you know why.

I was fortunate to keep my (already horrible) eye site for the two hours so that I was able to actually watch the Golden Globes tonight!  There was many faces I was happy to see, and well many movies as well.  At the VERY beginning of the showing, I thought to myself "Hey, why don't you make a list of the movies you wanted to see over the past year but just didn't have the time, money or both to go and see it."  Well folks, I did.  And in doing so I filled an entire sheet of paper.  I don't think I've ever felts so....out of the loop.  Out of the loop of life.

A small history on my past for you to divulge in:

As a teen, yes I mite have been TOO obsessed about Orlando Bloom, but besides that point.  I was "in the loop." I'd read the tabloids without buying into the false hood stories some people dream about and then publish as if that was "true writing" but I would know who was who and what movies/tv shows they were in.  I would never be able to see ALL the films that would be nominated come award season, but at lest I would know who was who and who was where.  Maybe it was a shallow life but it was a life none the less.

Back to present time:

Now as an adult, whose a wife, a mother, a daughter, an aspiring writer and at times a house maid of my own house.....that is my life.  In a way it is the same.  I am way too obsessed about my husband, which in all reality is a good thing I'm sure.  I'm in the loop about what the latest fashions are for toddlers and all the new gadgets that are coming out.  I read parenting magazines and when Imagination Movers or Mickey Mouse Clubhouse comes on I am well in the know of who is who and who is where.  And yet; as fulfilling as it truly is; and trust me...best part of my life to date, I feel so out of it.  I pay bills, I work super hard writing (and having to deal with the rejection) making me know that I can't even help pay for one of the bills, I clean, I cook and try really hard to be more of a gourmet chief then I probably should be allowed to even attempt.  But all of that equals...I don't get my hair done by anyone other then myself, my nails are always chewed, gnawed and bitten to the death, most of my clothes are 2nd hand or clearance and I don't have fabulous make up on when I go to wall mart to pick up a half gallon of milk because I misjudged how much my daughter would guzzle that week.  I am in the loop of everyday life and out of the loop of living life.

We so stupidly now a days live our lives day to day. Paycheck to paycheck. Meal to meal.  Dollar to dollar.  And in the end we are out.  Out of the loop of living our lives, our of the loops that make our own little world.  While watching the Golden Globes there was a commercial for Chrysler and it was going off asking what happened to class, to taken a drive, to feeling like a million bucks because going out and putting your best foot forward is what made life not only livable but agreeable.  And well, even though I am not a fan of commercials I couldn't help but agreeing.  When was the last time I myself just took a drive....I can't even tell you.  I am more concerned about how the price of gas is effecting my ability to just get my everyday errands complete.  When I get in my car I don't drive...I got from point A to point B and that is it.  I don't get gleamed up to go to the grocery store, and why should I when there is 12 to 50 year olds running around in sweats and Uggs?  This is our America.  The one we stand so proud to protect and yet we have no joy in living in it.  We live our lives, mapped out in front of us, point A, B, C and so forth.  We bitch and complain about not being able to pay the bills because in all reality we can't.  And yet somehow when people couldn't pay their bills in the 1950's and 60's they still had a manor of...pride for them selves and you never knew about their stress of bills.

Maybe it's the headache and Tylenol with tons of coffee in my causing such a thought...but think about it then your self with your clear and un hurting skull.  When was the last time you took a stroll in your car, just went and got a single scoop cone with no toppings and double flavors, took a picture of a daisy, and put your best foot forward to go grocery shopping?  Why do we need balls and award shows to be glamorous, to feel special and beautiful?  Why do we need so much money to get the smallest things done?  One word can sum it up for you.

America.

Another beat down.

Well folks, another rejection letter in the bag and that leaves the score The World: 1 Heather: 0.  But you know; I have no reflection, bright light bulb moment like I did last time when I got my first rejection letter.  All these letter got was a small sinking feeling and then a shrug of the shoulders.  I don't feel like crying. Or panicking.  Feeling like I'll never be any good for the writing world.  I've just gotten over a bitter week of PMSing, people nagging on me and going through one of those tough mommy moments.  So another rejection letter actually meant just about nothing to me.  I guess, I just see it as I need to take a second look at the article I had sent in and revise it and then see if I feel like there is any life left to it.  If there is, well that magazine company is going to hear from me again.  If not, well then I guess I just keep the article to make me giggle on a random day, and start working on another article.

Here in my hometown, we were blanketed with a thick blanket of fog from morning to now (which is 9pm) and as the night starts to creep in the fog is just getting thicker. Which makes me look forward to taken the new member of our family, Chewy, out for his nightly potty time.  Oh well, he's been keeping my feet warm all day as I worked on The Diversion and as I continued to read The Book Thief. So, I can't truly complain.  Made some good progress on chapter two, and I'm starting to feel good about that particular chapter.  So whenever the hubbs gets some time off or when my mom takes my bugg daughter again, I will continue to work on the book, hoping to get it completed by the end of the year.  Like full on completed.  Even editing.  So I can send it in and start to get another stack of rejection letters in high hopes to get that one yes.

Dear Molly; Freshman Year in all honesty is at a stand still.  The editing process is what has stopped me.  But I know I need to continue and push forward, so even if it never gets published I can at lest say I did all I could and just put the manuscript on my own library's bookshelf so my children and children's children can read it.

To cap off my day, I went and picked up my daughter at her grandparents as she was there having fun all day while I worked on my book and had dinner over there.  I also brought Chewy along and he did really well with my folks' cats Blitz and Grace so it was a nice discovery that he does well with kids and cats, and well my hubby =) So now it's onto next weekend we'll introduce our other two slobbery mutts of best friends!  The daughter is asleep and the hubbs is still hard at work so it's me finishing off my Dr. Pepper and chatting with my besti who lives four hours away and then I think I'll read a few more chapters and call it a night.

Chewy. The Chewbaca Terrier.

After much stress, and harassment from the locals on Craigslist.com and how horrible I felt for having to re home our cat, today we got a mini blessing we call Chewy.  My husband and  have our own dogs, mine a foxhound mix, Moose, and my husbands golden retriever, Blake. But Blakes so big and bouncy and Moose finds herself to be a snuggled up lap dog (even though she take sup the whole bed when she does) we decided giving our daughter her own little somebody would be nothing but a good idea.  We adopted him from a local shelter, and with no name the name finding processes became World War III, as my folks, the hubbs and I "argued" over what his name should be.  After Cooper, Sammie, Eddie, Edward, Boggs, Diesel and well a whole lot of other names.  We came across Chewbaca and being all Star Wars fans, Chewy (short for Chewbaca) would be nothing but a good match.  So today our family of five: Bella, Hubby Mike, Myself, Blake and Moose....turned into a happy family of six as we add Chewy to the family.


Tomorrow is officially Writing Day for me.  And so if or if not I add a blog know that I am well into my writing world drinking yummy gingerbread coffee =)  And know that with a little less stress...of disappointing my daughter...I will be able to focus a little better (after I of course pay our Macys bill.)  So it's on for a busy (lonely) weekend as the hubbs works straight through and threw the rest of next week and well, I'm just looking forward to my One Year Wedding Anniversary with the hubbs on the 28th!

Have a wonderful weekend my fellow readers.

PS supper stoked I got a Hunger Games t-shirt today!

Off topic. subject. to the point of the matter.

I know; I know...This blog is supposed to be SOLID about me...as a new writer....and my trials and tribulations with that endeavour of a dream.

But this is also I guess a "fan site" for those who are into my work, and well, when I make it big I guess I can see you as rooted fans? I'm not sure, but today I have nothing about my writing world to write you today.  Yesterday I took a previous blog on how I felt getting my first rejection letter, deleted it off of here and have revamped it and made it into a magazine article.  And sent it in.  So I'm still writing, I'm still working towards getting published.  I also worked on chapter two for The Diversion.....which is a MAJOR still in progress but I'm liken what I'm pulling out of my mind and soul and I have good feelings about this one, I'm to say the lest VERY proud of it.

So for my "fans".....my day was no good.  My daughter learned how to pull her self up last night and also how to scale our apartments stairs....I was so proud of her and full of joy.  Until our cat who had already made it clear she wanted NOTHING to do with my daughter when she had learned to crawl.  Well, when my daughter pulled herself up on the chair the cat was sitting on...the cat took a swat and scratched her and of course my daughter whose believed the cat and her to be best friends....this was more then an "owie" pain!  So this morning my husband and I, after waking up seeing our daughters scratches that were i mean millimeters from her right eye, made the tough choice to take the cat to a NO-KILL shelter and made sure the people working it knew she could no go to a home with other pets or kids.  I then had the "marvelous" idea of using that good ol' trusty Craigsist.com and posted in the pets section asking locals to see if they knew of a small mutt of a dog that we could trust around our daughter........I was then harassed ALL DAY on what a terrible mother I was and how I was a moron and no one should trust me with their pet.  If I didn't feel like crap before those postings started raining in, I sure did then!  And if the icing on my cake of day wasn't enough...AT&T disconnected my phone...saying I hadn't paid...which trust me I can't live without my phone I'M A 20YEAR OLD MOM.....I NEED MY PHONE!  AND My daughter killed me my crawling around crying..."Cat...cat..."
I know I did the right thing, even though it's bitter with no sweet, but wish it was easier to swallow.  I knew parenting would be tough.  But I was rived up fro tantrums, sleepless nights, dr appointments, stains and sloppy kisses.....not breaking my sweet 15 month old girls heart!  Wish I could write an article about that, but if I have an audience like I did on criagslist.com I say no thank you.
Praying tomorrows better.  Hoping I get sleep.  And for now I'm listening to some good music, and gonna facebook it up for a bit.